27th feb
cw: suicide and self harm mention
feeling: angry, suicidal.listening to: nothing.
I am so sick of everything right now. I have a neighbour that is harrassing, baiting and provoking me and will stop at nothing as a means to stop me from having any peace, and because of this I have had to stay at my grandmas house (at night) even though I dont want to – and now shes giving me shit for existing in her space.
I dont know what to do anymore. I have reported my neighbour but I know nothing will happen because shes a compuslive liar and lies about every single thing, even if its something like asking her what day it is. She also weaponsizes the fact that shes old and white against the rest of the tenants so she gets away with so much. my mum is dead and im still grieving and I cant catch a break.
I just wrote a letter so I can break up with my girlfriend/butch and im dreading taking it to his house because I know it will probably cause a scene but its something I need to do because I need to give him his shirt back.
The harrassment has been happening since fuckin g 2022, im exhausted, im tired, im angry, and im so close to my limit. Im just hoping I can hurry up and sell my dead mum's house and get a decent paying job so I can move out and find a nicer apartment.
I know it wont be like this forever but this shit has left me so suicidal but I need to stay alive so I can get my revenge..... stay alive for my revenge!!! my death cant be my revenege!!! I just need patience... patience.... so much of it.
I'll get to where I need to be soon. I need to hold on. Its easier said than done. But I think its all I have right now. Just fucking willpower I need to muster up (and maybe some precautions to reduce the amount of harrassment I have to endure)