family update + why going out feels so hard - but im still trying to

28/3/2026

on the 26th of march my grandma was offically put on end of life care. we dont know how long she has left though. i knew this day would come. i wont get into it too much because its stressful to think about, but its the main reason why im finding it so hard to go out and do anything for my own leisure during all of this. mainly because, whenever i would try to go out or even play a video game i would get news of a escalation with my grandma and i'd have to drop it.

the exact same thing happened to me on thursday, but i had to force my to go and not sit around moping all night.

i will make a seperate post about my outing. i dont think it would be appropriate to on this post. (it will go below this one)

there is alot more to come from this. im just trying not to go insane. 2 maternal figures that i was close to are dying/have died. im so tired....

STAR TREK LATE (my first outing in a very long time)

28/3/2026

i made friends, really good friends, and i had a really good time!!

the day i was told my grandma was going into end of life i had already planned to attend this event. i had to go out just so i could distract myself.

for the 60th anniversary of STAR TREK, the science museum was holding a late night event for trekkies. it felt like a convention, it felt really warm and nice.

months ago i was yearning to go to a space where people are authentically themselves, you dont feel judged, and people are just nice, bonding over our interests with no fear. that is exactly what i got when i went.

im actually pretty tired rn and cant be bothered to write too much but i got a photo in the captains chair! there was a cosplay catwalk! i went to a lecture on pets in star trek! there were craft tables! display cases with original costumes and props! it was great.

TRIBBLES! me in the captain's chair! and snaps from the star trek pet lecture!